Today’s Monday Musings post may not be what you expect… And despite the title, I’m not going to advocate that all of my couples do a first look. (Yes! I said it!) I strongly believe that the choice between having a first look and waiting until you walk down the aisle for the reveal is an incredibly personal decision. It’s a decision that each couple needs to make themselves and I believe both options are absolutely wonderful!
I chose to do a first look on my wedding day and I am so incredibly happy that I did. I also have incredible couples that choose to wait until the ceremony to see one another and it is truly one of the most emotional moments of their wedding. Today I’m highlighting the benefits of both options and encouraging all of my couples to weigh the pro’s and con’s when making their choice!
Reasons for a First Look / Seeing One Another Before the Ceremony:
1)   A Private Moment & Calming Your Nerves: This was the biggest reason that I decided to do a First Look on my wedding day. I couldn’t imagine waiting all day to see Huey before we tied the knot and the thought that the first moment we would spend together taking place in front of everyone… made me a little nervous. I knew that I was going to cry and I wanted to spend a few minutes in his arms (just soaking up the happiness of our wedding day) before our ceremony began and without a hundred people watching. Being able to see your sweetheart before the wedding is a big nerve-calmer and so many of my couples love the first look for this reason alone! I really enjoyed the quiet privacy of it too… beneath the trees, holding on to my best friend, whispering ‘I love you’, and documented by our photographer + videographer.
2) Â Â Schedule Flexibility + More Portrait Time: This is one of the main reasons that so many wedding planners and photographers highly encourage it! Doing a first look allows couples to ensure that we have natural light for portraits and enough time to capture bridal party, family, and bride + groom portraits. One of the main reasons I am able to provide so many gorgeous portraits of couples that opt to do a first look is because we have more time to dedicate towards photographs on their wedding day! Rather than being limited to the 45 minutes to an hour after the ceremony to fit in all of your portraits, we can spread things out and check family formals off the list before the ceremony has even begun!
3)   Enjoying your Cocktail Hour: Doing a first look means that we have the ability to do most of your portraits before the ceremony! Many of my couples want to enjoy their cocktail hour and by getting the portraits finished early, it means they can head to cocktail hour shortly after the ceremony and party with all of their guests! It also gives photographer more time to capture the reception details before guests are invited in to their tables. And if heading to Cocktail Hour isn’t important to you – you can also use this entire block of time for really creative couple’s portraits and let your bridal party relax before the reception!
Over the past few years, I’ve found that most of my couples opt to do a first look. If I had to put a number on it… I would say about 75% of my couples choose to see one another before the wedding ceremony!
And as a bride myself, I can honestly say that it was the best decision for my husband and I on our wedding day! I got to cry a little in his arms before the festivities began and felt “ready” to walk down the aisle after getting family portraits and bridal party portraits finished early! It also allowed us to use cocktail hour for sunset photographs around the property, without feeling rushed! It all worked out perfectly!
Reasons for a Traditional “Walk Down the Aisle” Reveal:
1) Â Â Tradition:Â I believe that weddings are so truly personal and should be designed with the unique love story and culture of the couple… And this is a tradition that many people hold sacred when thinking about their wedding day. That moment when the doors open and a beautiful bride is revealed before her groom, family, and friends – is something that many of my brides dream about. They love this tradition and it is important to them on their wedding day to follow in the footsteps of their parents and grandparents! I respect that!
2) Â Â It’s How I’ve Always Envisioned It: Â If the idea of an aisle reveal is something that has always inspired you… I can promise you, waiting to see your best friend’s face as you walk down the aisle will be worth the wait. Your wedding should be designed and scheduled around what will make you both happy.
3)Â Â Emotional Factor: This is the big one. This is the main reason so many of my couples skip the first look. They want that emotional punch of walking down the aisle and feeling that giant tug on their heartstrings. Waiting until that authentic moment, allowing emotions to heighten, and experiencing the joy of walking on the arm of someone you love – towards your future is truly unforgettable. And although not all of the grooms I photograph tear up during this moment or have a visible reaction – but it’s felt surely within and joy like that is truly a once in a lifetime experience.
Traditional Reveals that I love:  Veronica + Doyin  |  Murphy + Christian
For couples that do opt to skip the First Look, I always recommend working with your photographer to ensure that you have enough time scheduled to capture photographs of the bridal party, all of your family formals, and portraits of the two of you! Rarely can we fit all of those photographs (like you see on the blog) within a 45 minute window during Cocktail Hour (especially when family groups are large in number or quantity, or when there is driving / traffic involved in getting from the ceremony to the reception!) Planning ahead is key and many of my couples either schedule a gap between the ceremony and cocktail hour or extend cocktail hour to an hour and a half to give them more time to relax through portraits without feeling rushed!
Deciding on whether to do a first look or stick with tradition is an incredibly personal decision! I believe that as a photographer, it is not fair for me to push a couple in one direction or another – but rather, to offer them my advice in order to ensure that their wedding is everything that they hoped it would be!
I would love to hear from all of you as well… What did you choose on your wedding day?
Or if you aren’t married yet – Are you planning to do a first look? Why or Why not?
So glad John and I did a first look!! It meant so much to us to have that time together before the ceremony and to be completely honest, the walk down the aisle was no less special to either one of us. I mean, it would take A LOT to make that moment less special!! Great post Nat!!
I love how well this sums up the First Look!! 🙂
This is such a great post! I really wish first looks were a thing when I got married 6 years ago. I love that you don’t advocate either way, because you are so right, it is a personal decision and they have to do what is best for them.
I love your approach with this post. I love it when there’s an emotional reaction to the first look whether at the ceremony or beforehand. There’s no right or wrong and as long as there’s plenty of time scheduled to get everything they want accomplished it shouldn’t matter which way they go!
My sister & her new husband just got married on Friday and they opted to do a first look & the majority of the pictures pre-ceremony. It worked well for them and the ceremony was filled with other genuine & heartfelt moments that their photographer captured 🙂
I love this post — and for our wedding 11 years ago, we went traditional and Tom didn’t see me until I walked down the aisle. I loved seeing his face when he saw me for the first time. And, that photo is priceless. But, for our 10 year renewal, we had a moment to ourselves before the ceremony. And, that was extremely special too. I don’t think there is a right or wrong here – just what the bride and groom decide is best for them!
I am someone who really wished that we did a first look. The Mr was the one who insisted that he not see me until I was walking down the aisle and I wanted to give him that special moment. I had been fine emotionally all day up until the point when my bridesmaids got in line and I was waiting for my dad to come back up to get me and I lost it. All the emotions from all the planning and the idea that I finally get to marry my best friend after 10 years hit me like a brick and was blubbering the whole way down the aisle. Honestly, I couldn’t concentrate on the ceremony because I was trying so hard to control myself so I could actually audibly say my vows. I wish we had had that moment with the two of us to release that and calm down (at least for my sake, lol!)
Love this post! Super helpful for your couples 😀
This is SUCH a good post! I like how you didn’t necessarily push one choice over the other. Both have such good qualities that it truly is so personal! You know you and I are twins and that’s why we chose a first look. Such a wonderful collection of memories from that wonderful day!
Love this. I feel the SAME way with my clients. I want them to HAVE the choice, not feel pressured by me! 🙂