By: Reina Pomeroy
Life + Biz Success Coach for Right Brained and Heart Centered Creatives
(The Guest Blogging Series: While Natalie is recovering from surgery, her friends have offered to bring you incredible content. Learn more about the author of this post at the end and be sure to leave some love.)
In the beginning, I didn’t know a ton about marketing. I’m not exactly tech savvy and I didn’t know a single person who was doing the same kind of work as me. Nor did I work in agency or have formal training in getting a business up and running. I stumbled (thank goodness!) on facebook groups that felt friendly and welcoming. I felt understood, my struggles were normalized and I felt welcome. It made sense to me that a community of a few thousand people could be kind to one another, to give to one another. I was addicted to that mentality and poured myself into encouraging people (complete and random strangers) on Facebook.
As great as these groups were, I couldn’t help but notice that I was still lonely and craved “real life†connections. In the Spring of 2015, I started inviting women to jump on calls with me (mmmk that sounds a bit creepy as I’m writing this, but it was with honest intentions)… not to sell to them or offering to coach with them, but just to get to know them. Once I started making those calls something changed.
I went from feeling isolated, having limited contact with other business owners and feeling like I couldn’t connect with others to having people who understand my day-to-day stresses and feeling like I had comrades… virtual office-mates!
From these relationships I’ve collaborated over and over again, which has been fun while also elevating my brand. Maybe you’re thinking, “Of course it was easy for you, you had all these things going for you…†But honestly, I didn’t have anything at the beginning. I didn’t even have a website for many months! So this is possible for you.
Social Glue Method
In business, people have to like, know and trust you before they buy from you. People don’t like to be duped, so being authentic and representing your brand in the most honest way is vital to survival.
A grad school friend of mine gave me the nickname “Social Glue,†and that mentality has stuck with me in business. The basic tenets of how this translates into business are:
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- How can we help to connect people with other people and resources? We all have knowledge, resources, connections, etc. that can help to create better outcomes and relationships for others.
- How can we make business feel more personal? Get to know people in a genuine way to create relationships. Just as you want to feel understood and heard, others do too.
- Rather than the need to compete with others, how can we run business on generosity? Instead of seeing others as threats, look for strengths in others and ways to support each other. Finding out our differences can help us discover what business is right for one another.
What happens when you believe in Social Glue Method
Oh, the possibilities are endless when you choose to see your business as constant partnerships and collaborations.
I have seen people find the perfect accountability on these Social Glue calls, create a product together or host a webinar together that benefits the audience of both parties. People have become best friends in real life and each other’s cheerleaders through text or on social media.
Christina Scalera and I now co-host the Creative Empire Podcast together (and are business partners) because before we knew there could be a podcast, we were online friends and were cheering each other on!
There is always somewhere for us to belong in this community… as long as each of us makes an effort to be active participants in cultivating those relationships.
Bottom line: Don’t be salesy. Don’t be in it just for you. Be a nice guy (or gal). Give 5x what you take.
How to be Social Glue
Your first priority is to go in with the mindset that you want to make a real-life connection… not just with someone’s business, but with the person. If you were meeting a friend at a cafe, what would you chat about? You’d probably want to catch up on how she’s doing, right? It’s the same with being social glue…you want to see how they’re doing in life and in business.
Cardinal rule of SGM: Put your thoughts about earning money aside while you’re creating connections. Do not think, “How can knowing this person earn me more money?†That’s just icky, so don’t do that. It’s not about you.
Make it your intention to make a friend, a deeper connection. When people bring others into their business or lives, it’s because of trust. We will continually buy things from people we know, like and ultimately trust.
Remember that as nervous as you might be to get to know the other person, they might be feeling the same. Everybody wants to feel seen, appreciated, heard and validated. So be a leader in showing them your appreciation of them, their skills and their experience.
When somebody you are chatting with is constantly talking about themselves, their needs, their kids, their hopes and dreams and don’t take the time to ask you about what’s going on for you, how does it make you feel? My guess is, pretty invisible, right? In the Social Glue Method, we’re trying to create an even playing field for both parties involved so that there can be an atmosphere that fosters equal contribution and learning
The Nuts and Bolts of how you can make Social Glue Method your own
I know you’re in at least one Facebook group. If you’re not, you’re missing out! Heart Centered Biz Bosses (my community) and Lit up and Loaded (Lacey Sites) are two of my favorites, even if I am biased.
You can connect with people via email, Facebook groups or on Instagram to give good feedback, thoughtful comments and be of service. Rather than going into social media hoping for others to support you and cheer you on, think about what you can do for them! I know… it’s radical!
If somebody posts on their Instagram that they’re having a tough day or they’re dealing with a less than ideal situation, you can take it upon yourself to encourage them, to give them a “virtual hugâ€. If they comment back, you can try to get to know them better.
If you have more time on your hands than you have money, you can do this. If you are lonely and you want more connection, make time for this.
Whether it’s on Facebook groups or through other social media, it’s going to feel super awkward asking somebody to go on a coffee phone date (or whatever ya wanna call it!) with you. It’s like asking if somebody will be your friend, or asking a cute boy to go on a first date (awkward!). The biggest hang-up I hear from people who are hesitant about doing this is feeling too insecure or vulnerable to put themselves “out there.†Girl, you are awesome and quit being so mean to yourself.
Coffee Date Agenda—we’re fancy like that!
I have a super loose agenda for whenever I go on a coffee chat with somebody because if I don’t, I’ll inevitably get nervous and forget everything! You don’t have to use this, but if you’re worried about your nerves for your first few calls I hope this will provide you with some structure:
- Say hi and say their name. If you don’t know how to pronounce it, or you have a complicated name that most people get wrong, help them out by saying, “hey I’m ____, nice to meet you!â€
- Where do you live?
- Thank them for jumping on the call. Tell them about your intention of getting to know each other better, what things you would love to know about them!
- What’s something that connected you two? Do you have a mutual connection or have some kind of commonality?
- Here are some questions you could ask:
- How did you get to where you are?
- What was your former career?
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- How did you get started in your biz?
- What’s going on in your business now?
- Any fun projects that you have coming up?
- Tell me about your family…
- Think to yourself: can I connect her (or him) to someone I know? You could ask, is there somebody who you think it would be good for me to connect with?
- Think to yourself: Would I like to collaborate with her? How would both of our audiences benefit from working together?
- Before you get off the phone: How can I support you? This is an important exercise for you—to be able to articulate what people can help you with is one way to be able to ensure that you will have constant supporters and encouragers. You don’t have to do this on your own! It also means you can support them, too!
Post-Coffee Chat Moves
After your call, send out a quick email thanking them for taking the time to “meet.†Try to personalize it—include a little nugget you found fascinating. In that email, or in a subsequent email, do the thing(s) that they asked for support with!
Add a quick note to your calendar as a reminder to follow up on your chat with the person three months later. This helps if you don’t correspond regularly online—you can simply send an email to see how things are going. The purpose is to stay in touch, to refer each other, but if that’s not the case still make an effort to follow up. An easy way to stay connected with somebody is to interact with their social media platforms. Engage with their posts, comment and share their material with your audience.
Bonus tips:
- If it feels icky, check your intention. If you’re feeling “slimyâ€, maybe it’s because you’re getting more out of the relationship than you’re giving. Figure out how you can even out the playing field.
- Check in with them like you would a friend. If, during a chat, they say they have a launch coming up, even if they don’t ask for help, leave yourself a note and text them or send them a sweet message and tag them on a Facebook group when that thing happens!
- Influencers are also people! As busy as they might be, they’re always wanting to hear feedback from people and want to hear the ways they are making an impact on you, so reach out to them!
My Social Glue mindset has helped me create and enhance strong friendships and business transactions. It has worked for my clients in getting speaking gigs, $50k client contracts, book deals. It has the potential to convert. This isn’t the standard of marketing out there, but with this method you can deepen the know, like, trust factor for people who interact with you and your brand. Because people don’t buy things from companies, people buy from people. Make that connection.
If you’re looking for a safe place to meet somebody who “gets†you, join us in the Heart Centered Biz Bosses group by going to reinaandco.com/socialglue.
Reina Pomeroy is the Founder of Reina + Co, the Life + Biz Success Coaching® Practice for creatives who are right brained and heart centered. She helps clients stop spinning their wheels and take action on what’s most important so they can become the go-to expert in their industry. She is a Coach, Speaker, Educator, Author of the Big Plan for the Creative Mind, and Podcaster. Reina also co-hosts the Creative Empire Podcast to educate new entrepreneurs. Reina’s work has been featured on the Entrepreneur on Fire Podcast, Entrepreneur.com, Brit + Co, The Huffington Post, and the Rising Tide Society. Find out your secret sauce and where to put your focus at www.reinaandco.com.
